can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
3 2 1 whiskey
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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