My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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