you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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