Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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