i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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