So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
