he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
