don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize