he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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