it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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