and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize