And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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