He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Randomize
