I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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