Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
