I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize