fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
