My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
