It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
and she was petting her beer can
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
