She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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