Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
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It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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