i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
