i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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