a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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