wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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