I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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