finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
