I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she peed on how many people?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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