make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
