just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
