smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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