never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I will pee on everything he values.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
