Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
