Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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