Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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