How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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