I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
then he tried to convert me to islam
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
