I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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