This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
