I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
