he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
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i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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