someone get that fucking seahorse.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
