it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize