Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
As shirtless as possible
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
