she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
