Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
