have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Boobs are out for the taking
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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