You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
