We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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