So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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