jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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