we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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