She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
