he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
