Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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