I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
