is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
