Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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