I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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