Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize