Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
