god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
