He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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