So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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