No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
